Monday, June 13, 2011
Psyched by the 4D Witch
This is going to be a mixed week. Two intriguing Mexican science fiction films on Tuesday and Thursday are bookended by three of the most mind bending so bad (and I mean bad) they are good films. These three films will bend your mind...and because of it you'll need the Mexican films to be able to brace yourself for the next bit of madness. Keep reading because there is a winner (relatively speaking) at the end of the week.
First up Psyched by the 4D Witch.
I begin with a few not so random staements:
There is a point where one sees things that one can't watch because its so hysterically funny one will die from laughter from continued viewing.
There is a point where one realizes that those who have deemed Ed Wood and his films the worst ever made never looked hard enough. (anyone who starts down the road of bad movies is aware of this almost instantly- but I digress) There are times when you watch a movie you can feel your brain being cut up as it claws in desperation to get out of your head.
Occasionally people can actually release their home movies to theaters and have people pay to see them.
Psyched by the 4d Witch is a prime example of all of the above and more...you'll pray it isn't true but it is...
This is a movie that is rated R, it even says so in the credits, because of nudity and sex. I think its because the film makers were desperate to have a reason for people to see this movie.
This is a movie about Cindy who's a virgin and through the use of sexual witchcraft and the help of a dead ancestor who was a witch is able to have sex and remain a virgin. Oh yea baby.
There is no dialog only voice over as Cindy and two other people relate the story to you over footage that is a combination someones vacation film and the sort of stuff that is worse than what I used to shoot in 8 mm, with the exception that my stuff never had a naked blonde in it. (She's a babe) Adding to it all is a whacked out sense of odd lights and bad Halloween decorations that make a first graders haunted house seem scary.
Words fail me.
The film opens with a woman dancing to the theme song in a style similar to the James Bond films, only worse. Its a moment that makes you say "WTF?" even if you don't use profanity you will as you see this.
After the opening credits we get film of someones trip to a college inter-cut with a naked girl practicing witchcraft. I know this is what she's doing because of the voice over.
Then we get weird lights and masks and you end up on the floor convulsed from laughter wondering how in the hell this ever got released.
The Something Weird website said its from a rare 35mm print, my guess is its the only one in existence. I would hate to think that this was actually inflicted on enough paying customers that they needed more than one print or that it actually had a run in several theaters (hey, I bought this disc used) This is a movie to be enshrined in infamy. This is bad film making as high art. This is get drunk and MST3K this sucker to death.(The only reason it wasn't on the show was that its too easy to make fun of, besides its the movie that probably would have broken the boys)
DO NOT TAKE DRUGS WHILE WATCHING THIS FILM. Consumption of mind altering drugs will only result in the movie making sense, and where's the fun in that.
This is beyond bad and twice as jaw dropping. Ed Wood could only aspire to be this awful. Gay necrophilia vampirism with bad teeth are the words of the day.
If you like to see bad. mind altering movies see this...
If you want to laugh at a truly (and I mean that) awful film see this. This is below the bottom of the barrel at its worst.