Thursday, December 28, 2017

The Worst and Most Disappointing Films of 2017

Surprisingly the list of bad and disappointing films this year is relatively small. Blame it on not having a readily handy Bluray or DVD player so I was picky as to what I watched and it paid off.

THE DISAPPOINTMENTS- These are the films that aren't really bad but didn't even come close to the promise that the concepts, the festivals or the early talk  suggested that they would have.

PUNK FU ZOMBIE- This zombie film is way too knowing to work. While not bad it's a major misfire when you consider the film was run at Fantasia which normally is good enough in programming you know why a bad film is being run. Being set in Quebec was not a good enough reason to waste our time..

A GHOST STORY- yea the idea of Casey Affleck in a sheet works surprisingly well, but despite some affecting moments this tale of a spirit stuck in one spot breaks apart as writer director David Lowery fucks with time and logic to make a point that really didn't require all the bullshit.

DEVIL'S GATE is the story of FBI agents investigating the disappearance of a woman and child off a weird farm in the middle of nowhere. While the film frequently scores big time with kick ass sequences there are a few too many bumps so by the end you really wish it had been better because what here is so damn awesome that you're sad to see it break apart.

THE ENDLESS- Two brothers return to the UFO deathcult they grew up in only to find things oddly normal. Solid off kilter cult film works like gangbusters until the third act which just gets fucking weird to the point of becoming incomprehensible

DUNKIRK- Christopher Nolan's film is for some the pinnacle of cinema. For others, like myself, its an over rated film that has lots of problems which no one really wants to talk about... because it's Nolan... which is my point he makes horribly messy films that don't really work.

BABY DRIVER- pure form over content. Its the moment I truly realized I will never care for Edgar Wright's work


VOODOO- Hands down the worst film I saw this year (that I remember and stayed to the end for). It is one of the worst found footage films ever made (which is feat since so many suck) as well. The tale of a woman and a death cult the film makes no sense and was filmed in such away that it makes MANOS HANDS OF FATE look like an Oscar contender. This is just increasingly awful levels of awful. This will be the film you are forced to watch on repeat in hell.

LIZA LIZA SKIES ARE GREY is a nostalgic coming of age tale that would have been a bad drive-in film in 1967 when the film is set. Now it's just a god awful film made by a filmmaker whose head is stuck in some weird time warp and other dimension

ASSHOLES got an okay review from me but to be honest the more I've thought about it the worse it seems. More intent on pushing buttons and telling stupid jokes the film has withered and died in my memory

ONE PERCENT MORE HUMID would have been off this list if it was one percent better written. It makes no sense despite some good performances

NOBODY IS WATCHING amazed the hell out of me with the love it found with other writers. The story of an actor working as a nanny does nothing for about 75 minutes and then suddenly rushes to an ending that has no had no build up. I went to the bathroom in the middle of it just to force myself to stay awake and found I missed nothing

THE REHEARSAL- was on my worst of 2016 and again in 2017 because it hit US theaters. Perhaps now that sexual abuse is front page the fact that the film revolves around an adult and a 15 year old will get the film the hate it so richly deserves.

BAD BATCH- How do I hate you let me count the ways. So bad I forgot I suffered through it. A post apocalyptic mess where nothing makes sense from the first frame to the last. People fled the screening room and those that remained stared incredulous at the screen. There are moments but over all this is a giant stinky turd ball baking in the desert sun.

TILT- What a waste of time. Basically a man kills someone on vacation (before the film starts) and then is driven nuts by the guilt until he breaks in the final moments- only to leave us with a cliffhanger of an ending.

FLAMES- Filmmakers revisit their once upon a time love affair. Who cares? Some loved it but most of the people in my audience were sound asleep.

ROCK AND ROLL THE MOVIE should just be set on fire where ever it is found. Unfunny and probably offensive comedy is just best forgotten.

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