My Appreciation for the Worst Jaws Film (Jaws: The Revenge - 1987)

It’s July 1987, and somehow I convinced my mother to take me to the movies to see Revenge of the Nerds II. Listen, I was a kid, okay? One of the few things I recall is how empty the theatre was. Shocking, I know. But what I remember most were the trailers. Or more specifically, one trailer.

The iconic voice narration. A sweeping view of the ocean. That unmistakable theme. Then, bam. The title card.

Jaws: The Revenge.

I was only six years old, and I was already very familiar with Jaws. Whether that was from the original or one of the sequels, who knows? What I do remember is the excitement that trailer generated. For the next 90 minutes, while the Nerds were off on whatever hijinks they were getting into, all I could think about was one thing:

Wow… there’s a new Jaws movie. Better yet, it was coming out in just a few weeks.

Then I saw it.

Look, I get it. I’m not going to go on a diatribe about how this is some misunderstood piece of art. Anyone who has seen it, or even just knows of it, is aware of its absurdity.

And maybe that’s part of the reason I love it. The shark in Jaws: The Revenge isn’t just a shark. It’s the aquatic Jason Voorhees. Its one objective is to kill every single member of the Brody family. And also kill Michael Caine’s character, who is definitely a drug smuggler. They never officially say it, but c’mon.

You could make the case that Jaws 2 is where the series stopped trying to be Jaws. I like that one, but it’s essentially an underwater slasher film. Jaws 3-D was simply cashing in on the trend at the time. Then Jaws: The Revenge came along and someone said, “Hear me out… psychic powers.”

If your argument is, “Look how they massacred my boy,” then I really don’t have a rebuttal.

So, the shark uses its X-Men-type abilities to pursue Lorraine Gary, who came out of retirement for this. None of it should work, and technically doesn’t. I’m here for the ridiculousness, regardless.

The novelization at least attempts to explain the psychic angle, revealing that the shark is being controlled by voodoo. In the film, it’s little more than a throwaway line.

Roy Scheider knew better, so he gets the “died off-screen” treatment.

There’s some family drama and a forced romance angle. I can take or leave all of that. The moments when the shark actually appears are entertaining in all the wrong ways.

When we reach the final act, the shark roars like a lion. It explodes because of a… shark tracker? It’s unclear. Mario Van Peebles somehow survives being dragged to the bottom of the ocean in the shark’s mouth. The last shot gives us our survivors floating in what is very clearly a tank on the Universal lot, against a sky matte painting straight out of The Truman Show.

None of this is a compelling defense of Jaws: The Revenge. Most of the criticism aimed at it over the years is deserved. The movie is illogical, frequently nonsensical, and completely detached from the grounded suspense that made the original a classic.

I still enjoy it.

Maybe it’s the nostalgia. Maybe it’s the tie-in Nintendo game that was released later that year. Maybe it’s the fact that the movie completely loses its mind during the finale. Whatever the reason, I’ve never been able to dislike it.

And as Michael Caine once said, he’s never seen the movie, but he has seen the house it bought for his mother. That’s a lovely touch.