Friday, December 25, 2015

Hellbound (1994)

This a weird film- it's also a really bad one but its a lot of fun. Its the sort of film that doesn't know what it is- Chuck Norris action film? historical drama? horror film? comedy? A desert topping? A floor wax? All of the above?

How weird does this film get? After a demonic servant of satan rips the heart of a rabbi who stabbed him with a holy blade a hooker comes out of the bathroom and the demon gets a look like Stymie of the Little Rascals  just got caught masturbating by his mom. Its one of the funniest things I've seen in a long while.

The tone of the film keeps flopping around. From historical epic for the 1st 15 minutes, the film becomes a weak cop drama for the next 15 inutes and then for the next 30 it’s a comedy with Norris and his partner in the middle east.

The first fifteen minutes has a bunch of 12th century knights looking for treasure and freeing the demonic servant of satan. When the knights realize what theydid they manage to put the demon back into a crypt and seal him up. The price then destroys the scepter that gave the demon his power. Then in 1951 he escapes when tomb robber release him. The film then jumps to now where Chuck Norris is a cop. Norris gets put on the trail of the demon when the hooker, you remember the hooker who saw the demon with the rabbi's heart, literally lands on  his police car when the demon tosses her out a window. Eventually Norris and his partner end up in Israel and in a running battle with the demon.

The performances are uneven. Norris is fine walking through yet another action film. The problem with Norris in the film is it's clealy a contract film and not something he has any passion for. He's walking though it and it shows. Calvin Levels as his partner is okay if overly loud. Christopher Neame as the demon is laughable. The growly voice and over top looks just kill any menace. He's one of the reasons this film should be viewed as MST3K material

Hellbound just doesn’t work. Outside of the action sequences this film really is a mess. It could have survived the TV show like feel if there had been something here beyond that. But there is nothing. Worse what is here is so silly and so wrong headed that you'e going to laugh it all the way through even the so called scary pats.

Late in the life cycle of Cannon this is a prime example of why the studio collapsed. It’s an ill thought out films that desperately seem to be an attempt to store past glory and it just missed the mark. Didn’t anyone think about it? I think not.

All that direision aside since the films is so funny for all the wrong reasons- it's the pefect film to watch with a bunch of friends

No comments:

Post a Comment