Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Worst films of 2015

See over 1000 films in a year and some films are bound to suck. To be fair there were worse films than these but these I actually wrote down.

The worst thing cinematically to happen to me was discovering that Tim Woodward EXISTS. This writer, director and producer turned out three pieces of dung that I saw in rapid succession and had my soul scarred as a result. Ed Wood is a genius by comparison.

JAMES FRANCO in THE INTERVIEW was much too over the top. His silliness wrecked the film for me making an okay film intolerable.

TSILI- cinematic experiment has characters doing interpretive dance at the start and then insisting on hand holding you in its story about hiding from Nazi's. Its so bad I vowed never to see any film from the director ever again (seriously I won't ever do so willingly)

ANNABELLE- terrible horror film about a doll. Lifeless

GOOD KILL- ten minutes in to the film Bruce Greenwood give a five minute speech that is effectively about what the film is and what its trying to say thus making everything after it even more utterly pointless than it already it.

LUCIFER- cinematic experiement was shot to look like we're watching through a port hole. I've seen it twice and I still don't know why we're forced to do it or why we're being asked to see the film.

RAIDERS!- feature length DVD extra about a bunch of kids who took 30 years to make a shot for shot remake of Raiders of the Lost Ark- why is this 90 minutes? I got it after ten.

THE INVITATION- despite every one who didn't see it at BAMcinema Fest being able to review it I still can't because I said I'd hold off until the theatrical release. Just know this nonsensical tale of a death cult killing off people at dinner parties is stupid as a stick and has plot holes you could drop whole towns into.

ELIMINATION GAME- remake of a kind of classic (a film called Turkey Shoot or Escape 2000) is just bad. I mean really freaking bad.

MOJAVE- fantastic endlessly quotable dialog can not save this film about a serial killer and an actor going after each other after a chance meeting in the desert. It all falls apart because none of it ever makes sense.

REQUIEM FOR THE AMERICAN DREAM (NOAM CHOMSKY)- Even if you like Chomsky you'll be bored by this "no duh" recounting of all his talking points for the past 4 decades. Its the sort of thing that makes you question why anyone took him seriously

FASTER HORSE- 100 minute commercial for the Ford Mustang is one of the dullest films ever made

MUNE- fantastic images are wrecked by a film with a plot that makes no sense even internally. I loved that I saw this big but regretted having to sit through this crappy film about the battle between night and day.

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