Thursday, November 23, 2023

Clerks 3 (2022) Thanksgiving Turkey

 


CLERKS 3 is terrible.

Cinema at its most point and shoot, it is one of the laziest films I’ve ever seen. Actually it may be the laziest professional project I’ve ever seen. It looks like Kevin Smith simply got his friends together for a weekend and banged out a riff on CLERKS over a couple of afternoons.

The plot of the film has Randall having a heartattack and deciding that he is going to make a movie about being a clerk. We then watch as the various characters stand in front of a seeming green screen and talk to other people in front of a green screen. Occasionally there is a switch to a second camera set up of the same sequence.

What happened to filmmaker Kevin Smith who was going to change cinema with his low tech films full of witty lines and off centered looks at the world?

Where is the guy who made CLERKS, DOGMA, JERSEY GIRL, ZACH AND MIRI, RED STATE and (The scary half of) TUSK?

I have no problem with a guy wanting to make movies for his besties, hell look at Hong Sang-Soo, but Smith’s films over the last few years have been terrible by any standard. Not long after TUSK he decided to annoy the critics by making crappy films just to piss them off and then he disappeared into a bubble by making films for his legion of fans who will give him money to see whatever cinematic turd he craps out. Revisiting the same characters over and over again Smith isn’t really making movies but his own personal ATM cranking out a new film every time his bank account is running low. It’s the same thing over and over again. While Hong Sang Soo does the same thing at least he mixes it up and pretends it’s not the same thing. With CLERKS 3 Smith is at the end of the road with the film being a meta version of the first film. The only place left for him to go is to remake the remake.

What a waste of time.

Honestly I had no plans on seeing the film. I gave up on Smith with JAY AND SILENT BOB REBOOT but it showed up on cable and I stumbled on the film at the start and became utterly fascinated by how bad the filmmaking was. A professional made this film? Really? Watching it was like going to a cheezy circus where there was no thrills and only a big empty tent with a giant neon sign inside the said SUCKERS on it.

Even allowing that Smith is going no tech, this film is bad. Unforgivably so. I say that not because it’s just a bad film, but a bad film from a director who knows better. I can’t forgive a film this shitty, and lazy, from a filmmaker who has a clue.

What a truly unwatchable film.

My condolences to anyone who actually paid to see this.

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