Friday, September 8, 2017
Nobody's Watching (2017) opens today
The reason nobody is watching is the audience has fallen asleep.
An hour into the film, after fighting desperately to stay a wake, I stepped out of the theater to try and wake myself up. It didn't matter if I was missing any plot because nothing had really happened in the previous hour and when I left I made a good guess nothing would happen in the final half hour.
While nothing happened on the trip to the men's room, I was wrong since some plot develops in the last 15 minutes of the film, but by that time it really was way too little much too late.
The plot has a soap opera star from Argentina living in New York waiting to see if a movie he is attached to gets made. He left Argentina because his boyfriend wouldn't leave his wife. He baby sits, scams money where he can and ponders his lost love. It's not until about 75 minutes in that things get interesting (relative to this film) and (SPOILERS AHEAD) his boyfriend shows up for a quickie, and his world implodes, briefly, before he goes home to Argentina to tell the boyfriend take a hike and he has better life. (END SPOILERS)
Truthfully I would have walked out of the film but I wanted to see my Tribeca co-conspirator Ariela after the screening. I also wanted to see if the Buried Land Rule was in effect (ie. If you think something will happen to improve the film, it won't). While the film did become kind of interesting in the final minutes (relative to the boredom of the rest of the film) it never transcended the "I got out of bed for this shit" level of lack of interest. Frankly I would have been just better off going to sleep.
One of the least films at Tribeca 2017.