Monday, December 30, 2013

Looking Back: The Worst of 2013

The best thing I can say about the worst films of the year is that there are only a few of them. Yea there were the requisite number of not very good ones, but the ones that could be categorized as the worst there were very few.

Before I get to the worst films of the year there were a couple of happenings that left me pondering the sanity of some people. At the top of that list is the love and affect thrown the way of Claire Denis. Yes she's occasionally a great filmmaker but she can be as loopy as a fruit loop. No offense to anyone but why didn't anyone call her on her bizarre ever changing answers to questions while she was promoting her film Bastards? She said one thing at the NYFF press conference and then proceeded to change her story in interviews after the fact. Only one person I know called her on it and that interview has been buried.

And now my least favorite/worst films of the year:

The Croods- is stupid. Yea I like low brow humor but this is a bit too low and stupid for even my tastes.

Raze is is a vile and misogynistic action story about women fighting to the death. It might have worked but the action sequences are dull and repetitive,  and filmed in a room so small we only see the women from the waist up. Even that might have been okay if any of it made even the slightest bit of sense- none of it does. This is getting a big release in a couple of weeks and I've been flooded with offers to set up interviews- and I'd go for it but I don't think anyone would sit for my questions about how they got everything wrong.

Bluebird- the script which tells the story of a child left in a bus over a cold night when the bus driver is distracted by a blue bird, is terrible. The turn of events make no sense.

Aberya- an all in close up story about an American boxer going to the Philippines and talking to all of the cameras he thinks is following him is just too nonsensical for words. My reaction to the film was trying to figure out how I could hurt the filmmakers.

Go Down Death Guy Maddin meets the Forbidden Zone in a pretentious film that probably would work if you were in on the joke. Actually it would be an excellent short, but as a feature it's intolerable 

Ritual:A Psychomagic No one should try to copy Jodorowsky even if you get the man himself to cameo in your film.

I'm glad that Only God Forgives because that it means I can hate this stupid excuse of a film without reservation. This is utter nonsense.

Nobody's Daughter- I was willing to go along with the film until the final moment when the lead character woke up and we found out it was all a dream. Really? Really? Do adults and major filmmakers actually think we'd buy that?(Apparently they do since this is on several best of the year lists)

Bastards Even assuming that the things Claire Denis says about the film aren't true, this is a stupid ass film that makes no sense. No really it makes no sense. I dare you to explain to me what most of the characters are doing really.

Paul McCarthy's WS at The Park Avenue Armory involved, by my estimate 25 hours of film projections. All of it was nastiness involving Snow White and Walt Disney. Sadly none of it was any good. It was the sort of thing that gives art and artists a bad name and makes you think that the venue programmers have more dollars than sense or were getting kick backs from the artist.

No, Blue is the Warmest is not even close to the worst film of the year but it is the most over hyped.

I'm hoping that even though there is only one day left to 2013 I don't encounter anything that belongs here. Here's to to my wish that my worst of the year list is even smaller in 2014.

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