Friday, December 28, 2018

Worst and most disappointing of 2018

Every year no matter how much we'd like there are films that  either work to a point and then peter out or  that just suck. These are my choices for the disappointments and worst films of 2018- or at least were so bad I had to write them down (there were dozens more that I simply committed to the void)

THE DARK- kind of undead monster tale completely falls apart in the second half as the supernatural horror film becomes an allegory about sexual abuse.

BUY BUST where a swat team gets lost in a shanty town maze, is basically an endless action sequence that falls apart because we never get a sense of place. Worse the action is in such close quarters that we really can't take it in

THE HOARDE- what would have been a great fifteen minute horror comedy short is expanded to 100 minutes and collapses as scares disappear and all the jokes fall flat

IN MY ROOM-awful post apocalyptic tale never makes sense on any level. It all looks staged and things just happen because.(Like a blind dog who couldn't see a wall of broken glass leaping up and getting impaled on it or cars that are carefully crashed and turned over)

HER SMELL-this film of five moments in time with the lead singer of a punk band and it asks us to forgive one of the most vile screen characters ever just because. Yea the end is triumphant- but it doesn't earn it because until the final moments she is beyond redemption.

ROI SOIEL- A man dressed as Louis XIV rolls around on a floor for an hour. WHY?

THE CHURCH-Awful horror film that actually seems to be trying to save our souls.

END OF LIFE-Terrible look at the end of the road for several well known people.While some of it works, mostly I had no idea why I was being asked to watch it.

TO KID OR NOT TO KID- I am loath to say a film is full of any sort of self serving entitlement but this look at one woman explaining why she doesn't want children is full of it....and not just entitlement.

SUSHI TUSHI OR HOW ASIAN BUTTED INTO AMERICAN FOOTBALL- Awful football comedy that was made by people who don't remotely understand football... or comedy

BETWEEN NEIGHBORHOODS- terrible split screen look at a Queens New York neighborhood plays like your worst civics lesson

CRISIS JUNG- Terrible animated film/series about a hero in a wasteland gaining power through psycho therapy. It might have worked if it had been more than just vulgar.

AVOCADO- absolutely charming short about office cleaners falls off the table in the final minutes as out of left field one is suddenly deported. Yea life does that but as a short film it sucks rocks.

GHOSTBOX COWBOY- A man goes to China to try and get his invention off the ground. Bad. Just bad

DUCK BUTTER- working in moments this romance goes nowhere other than to the pretentious pit.

GREAT PRETENDER- This film's cleverest moment is when it makes jokes about a man sleeping with his girlfriend before he tells her he has VD.  It never gets better than that

MAINE- Woman takes up with a young man traveling the Appalachian Trail - nothing happens and the film just stops

7 STAGES.....- Couple gets a cheap apartment because people are constantly breaking in to kill themselves in their bath tub so they'll go to paradise. Okay premise goes no where and just repeats itself endlessly. Not funny

No comments:

Post a Comment