Saturday, April 11, 2020

Abominable (2020)

Don't be fooled this was filmed in the woods somewhere far from any mountains

Super low budget horror film has a willing cast and some good gore effects but not much else in this film about a team of researchers trying to sort out hat happened to the group before them. They were doing research on a mythic flower that was guarded by the Yeti.

Looking like they put the whole dollar ninety eight budget on screen ABOMINABLE is a heartfelt but not quite  good enough horror film. Normally I would be adverse to make jokes about a budget but things look so anemic (everyone seems to be wearing their on cold weather gear, the lab for research is a big room with random plastic sheets hanging from the ceiling a white board with math problems on it, and a tent in the middle of the floor).  Its supposed to be a place people would work but ts in an electronic dead zone where no radio signals can reach. Really? The promo material talks about the Himalayan mountains but it doesn't remotely look like any photo I've ever seen- and the ending which has a character sitting in a ranger car makes it clear that this isn't Tibet no matter what the dialog says.

I threw up my hand when 15 minutes into the film we see the monster (which looks good from a distance) beat up a team member. all we see is his hand and arm and it looks like a person wearing a monster glove and a white furry jacket-I mean you see down the sleeve. Later on you can see the  the pieces of the suit and the outline of the down vest under the body piece. Still later you see the monster standing, his "skin" folded in ways that only ill fitting off the rack costumes fold. No poverty row gorillas from the 30's were ever this bad.

Frankly if they had spent a bit more money and had a bit more talent behind the camera this might have been something. The story has possibilities on it's own terms. There is enough here that despite the gaping flaws this might have been something more than a cash grab or something perfect for RiffTrax or MST3K. (Though the music is so loud we'd never hear any of the riffs).

While this is most certainly a film that you will want to roast with lots of friends (it will be funnier than the comics at your local comedy club) it is not otherwise recommended.

A quick rant:

While I completely understand that film is a mercenary business- but why would you actually make something that sucks? Why would you not try and change things up so that the film doesn't get lost in laughable land?

For example why keep all the talk of the Yeti and put a mountain on the poster when it's clear it's not set in Tibet. Why not change the dialog? We'll work with you- a bit.

Work with the fact that things went wrong- I mean the film is 64 minutes before end credits. Its clear since something happened since several sequences start in the middle like sections were removed. People run through the woods bloody? How did that happen? Once is fine- but three or more times?

What KILLS me about this film is you have a great cast. One that acts and is invested. You have great makeup and practical effects. Based on that alone you should have had a great film but the rest, all the behind the camera doesn't work and as a result you've shit on the cast and the effects people. While they can show people the film on a highlight reel, the actual film is so mismanaged that it could harm their careers.

Yea I know you sold the film, maybe got your money back, boom on to the next thing. But have some decency and try to rise to the level of the things that work and not remain in the sewer. The only people who are going to want to see this are people tricked by the name and poster.  Yea you'll get an extra buy or two, but you on't get squat long term.

I'm sorry this coulda woulda and shoulda been a gem. Instead it's a half made broken machine with great parts that sadly can't be pulled out of it and saved.

I know you are just trying to make some money- but if you gave a bit more you's have gotten more.

I freaking hate it when producers intentionally release turkeys.

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